A New Beginning: Learning Who I Am Again

A few years ago, my therapist encouraged me to start a blog.
I honestly thought she was out of her mind. Just the thought of posting made me feel embarrassed, and if I’m being honest, it still does. But here I am, anyway, taking a leap of faith and going for it.

So… thanks, Dr. Clifford.

There are so many things I want to take on in the new year, and even though I’m heading into a season of uncertainty, I’m not as anxious as I usually would be. I don’t know if that’s because I’m avoiding my feelings or if I finally have a better handle on them, maybe a little of both. I keep telling myself that whatever happens, happens.

And even typing those words feels like a fight. My brain wants to spiral into all the possible “bad” outcomes, but I’m learning to slow that voice down too.

My mental health, my weight, my happiness — all of it needs attention.
All of it deserves attention.
And that, in a nutshell, is why I’m here.

It’s time for me to figure out who this 30-something version of myself really is.
What I like.
What brings me joy.
What I want to leave in the past, and what I want to intentionally bring with me moving forward.

I’ve been a wife and a mother for ten years, and somewhere in the day-to-day shuffle, I lost myself. Sometimes quietly, sometimes kicking and screaming, but losing pieces of me all the same. And that wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own.

Because as wives and mothers, it’s so easy to neglect ourselves, knowingly and unknowingly.
We show up for everyone but ourselves.

Recently, I found out I have PCOS, and it’s made me look at my body differently.
My weight loss journey isn’t about wanting to be super skinny, it’s because everything hurts. My feet, my back… all of it. No one ever talks about how physically uncomfortable it is to live in a body that doesn’t feel like yours anymore.

And sitting at a desk all day with terrible posture hasn’t helped either.
My body is tired.
My mind is tired.
But I’m finally doing something about it.

I’m excited, nervous, but excited to take this step forward and become the person I know I can be. I want this platform to be my sounding board, my accountability partner, and my place to put words to the things I usually keep inside.

And if you’ve felt any of this… the losing yourself, the hurting everywhere, the anxiety, the guilt, the exhaustion… then come along on this ride with me.

I don’t have all the answers yet.
But I have a beginning.
And sometimes, that’s enough.

Welcome to my journey.
Welcome to my healing.
Welcome to Motherhood & Who Alex Is.