First, let me say thank you all so much for all the love you showed me on my last Big Mama Chronicles post. I started this blog believing that no one would really be reading it and that I’d just be shouting into the abyss. So, the feedback and encouragement have meant more to me than you know.
Big news: We have officially moved!
I cried when we pulled out of the driveway for the last time. Barbara Jean (yes, I named my house) wasn’t perfect, but she was ours.
We’ve gone from our four-bedroom house to a three-bedroom apartment, and honestly, it hasn’t been as big of an adjustment as I thought it would be. That is…once we figured out how to rearrange the living room. The same couch that looked tiny in our huge living room now looks absolutely massive in this one. Funny how that works.
Being home is surreal. We’ve been back for a week now, and every day I wake up still not quite believing I’m here. I’m so ready to explore and go on adventures, but work has been brutal. I don’t even believe in overtime, y’all, but unfortunately, it’s been necessary to help me stay afloat.
In the meantime, we’ve been busy putting together our new home. The movers unpacked our belongings, but everything else has been on us. As you can imagine, it’s been equal parts headache and chaos. For now, we’re surrounded by half-unpacked boxes, surviving on eating out more than I’d like to admit, and trying to remember which cabinet I put the coffee mugs in.
Mostly, though, we’ve been marveling at all the options around us. The food, the grocery stores, the activities…hell, even the provider availability. We’re like little kids in a candy shop. I’m not a stranger to the area, considering I grew up here, but after seven years in Delaware, it’s amazing to be back somewhere with so many opportunities and so many choices. My husband and I kept telling the kids there would be more to do here, and our schedule this weekend is proof of that.
And, of course, a new location means new doctors, new specialists, and getting all of our care established. I almost (almost), fell into my old trap. I spent so much time researching and finding new providers for the kids, making sure everything would be in place for them as soon as we arrived, that I was ready to tell myself I’d worry about me later.
But then I remembered that I’m also due for my annual exam. I’m also due for my next dental cleaning. And the list goes on.
So, I made finding and establishing my own care a priority, too. Because we gain absolutely nothing from neglecting ourselves. Yes, everyone needs care for their chronic conditions, but that doesn’t mean I should be content with always putting myself last.
Of course, I already scheduled my therapy appointment because I genuinely don’t think I could survive being home without it. IYKYK.
Honestly, I think I’m more excited to restart sessions with my old therapist than anything else. I don’t have to regurgitate my entire history all over again. I get to pick up right where I left off, which is a relief because my anxiety has already started creeping in here and there throughout the day.
Overall, coming home is reminding me that healing isn’t something you finish before moving on to the next chapter. Sometimes healing is the next chapter.
Maybe that’s what this season is about. Building a home, reconnecting with old support systems, and learning that taking care of myself isn’t taking anything away from the people I love. It’s one of the best ways I can love them.
I’ll always be grateful for Barbara Jean and everything she held for our family. But I’m excited to see what this next home holds, too.
Until next time,
Alexis
Xoxo
If this post resonated with you, you’re always welcome to subscribe. I write honestly about anxiety, growth, motherhood, and the in-between moments.
Motherhood + Who Alex Is 
Leave a comment